[it's not completely unusual for Yu not to come back home at night... but in this respect at least, he wanted to talk to him. scratch that, he needed to talk to him. he wants to keep the elephant out of the room, here, because there's been too many of those between them since they got here.]
ok cool ill see u when you get home then im not working 2day so
[Yu is close enough to the house that he doesn't respond, and the front door opens a few minutes later. He's still wearing the same clothes from last night, more rumpled than he normally looks, as if he's been wearing them all night. Which he has.
Wasting no time, he puts his things down on the table by the entry, leaves his shoes in the genkan, and goes looking for Yosuke. The house isn't huge; it doesn't take long.]
[usually Yosuke would probably make a Comment about that normally... but maybe it's the way that he looks so tired that tells him something's up. or just generally the way that Yu's been acting ever since Mikey decided to fuck off has had him on alert.]
Hey.
[he scans him, though.]
Are you... okay?
[he's going to ask first before he launches into the elephant in the room, here.]
[An "elephant in the room" is defined as a big topic that everyone knows about, and no one wants to mention. The term is accurate: Yu knows exactly why Yosuke is concerned, and it's the same reason he's put up with more fretting from the other boy than he normally would. Yosuke needs to know everything is okay, and Yu can understand that.
So...he needs to help, there.]
I'm fine, [said softly, honestly.] I got locked in at Lupin last night.
[But that's not really what the conversation is about. He continues,] ... Mikey was there. We talked.
[Here's where he invites Yosuke to air his concerns, because he knows he has them. Yu's expression is full of anticipation, expectation. Of course he knows it's coming.]
[... there's a long, drawn out groan when Mikey's name is mentioned. he knows that this is what he was going to talk about anyway, but... still. the fact that Yu was cooped up in Lupin with him wasn't a good one.]
Of course you did.
[he scans Yu again, almost as if looking with new eyes to make sure there's no sign of injury on him.
when he's somewhat satisfied that he wasn't hurt, he asks:]
[That's not an unexpected reaction; Yu gives him a bit of a knowing look in response. Yes, he knows it wasn't ideal. Yes, it happened anyway. Parts of the experience are hard to shake off; the hard contrast between closeness and distance, poor sleep sought on a hard floor. But he looks no less composed than ever.
Yosuke is looking for signs of distress, and Yu lets him. He'll find none, save for tiredness and the wrinkles of overworn clothes.]
A lot. [It's not really a facetious remark so much as a soft opening. He's trying to figure out where to start, as he sits heavily on the sofa.]
He said it was a "curse." That he's better now. That it involved some sort of time travel... [He huffs out a soft breath.] ... given how strange this place can get, I don't disbelieve it.
[Yosuke's frown deepens as Yu speaks. he crosses the room to sit in the couch next to him... and considers. yes, that sounds crazy enough for anybody's life around here. yes, it even sounds like something that would happen here. curses, glitches, whatever you want to call them...
but it still hurt. the fact of the matter is that Yu was still caught in the crossfire and killed. not that he should be so surprised he poked his nose into it all again, but...]
You said you don't disbelieve it. But how do you feel about it?
[he reaches out to try to grab one of Yu's hands... to take it, gently. hopefully lace their fingers together. because even though he has his own emotions about the whole thing, he's more worried about the person sitting next to him right now.]
[Their fingers entwine, and even though that question hits like a brick, it's such a stark reminder of why they're partners. Why they're a team, and why Yu leans so much on the other boy. However else he may act or seem, Yosuke is one of the most dependable people he knows, and that's one of the most important things in the world, to him, right now.
Still. It takes him a minute to find an answer to the question.]
Angry. Sad. Just because he's better...it doesn't make everything that happened go away.
[And yet, they had both said so much, too. There's been so much, and the feelings are all so tangled and tied up. None of it is simple at all.]
But I don't want to feel that way forever. I don't want any of us to.
[Him, Yosuke, Mikey. Other friends like Scott and Kotone. None of them deserve to be trapped in this forever.]
[You. Yosuke's use of that particular word doesn't go unnoticed, but Yu takes a moment before he says anything, nodding softly in acknowledgement.
Then,] ...What about you?
[It's a question that's bigger than it sounds. Yosuke is a person of strong opinions, especially when it comes to people he cares about. No matter how he feels about Mikey, he probably has something to say about the fact that they're back in contact. Yu wedges open that door, allowing him the space to step through it. To say whatever's on his mind.]
[there's a long silence. he looks down at the ground, his jaw tightening.]
I can't. I can't... forgive him, not yet.
[Yu was his everything, does anyone not understand? sure, he liked other people too... but it always came back to one person.
and there's a bit of a fear there too, maybe. that he wasn't there to protect him -- would that happen again? not even if it was just Mikey, but anyone? would he be able to protect him the next time someone came at him?
it was a strange rabbit trail of thoughts, but he had them anyway. a paranoia, almost.]
I know it's supposedly not permanent but... [he grips his hand tighter, it could be almost painful.] I can't forgive him yet.
[In some ways, the word complicated is too simple to encompass this situation. As hard and useless as it was to hide most of what happened, Yu hasn't exactly been forthcoming about the full experience. Death, dying, being killed at the hands of someone you care about...Yosuke is the only one who knows. It's been on his mind a lot, as much as he wishes he could put it aside, but...it makes the situation more than just complicated.]
It's alright if you don't. [Quiet as he can be, he's open and sincere when he does talk -- and this is no exception. Yosuke is under no obligation to forgive anything, and if he never did, Yu would understand that.]
If I started talking to him again...would you be okay?
[Talking regularly, of course, beyond the few interactions he and Mikey have had. Beyond stilted messages and conversations at the door. It's not a request for permission; Yu knows he doesn't need it. But they're partners, first and foremost, and what one of them does can affect the other. Yosuke's vicelike grip on his hand is a clear indicator that everything is very far from fine. He just wants to know where things stand.]
[There's something so tender about that kind of closeness, the gentle weight of Yosuke's head on his shoulder, and he exhales, leaning into the gesture a bit. There are some ways in which Yu doesn't compromise, and maybe it's not fair to anyone that he wants to care about both of them, but-- he can't help it.
Yosuke Hanamura, his partner, his person. If he had to choose, it feels almost inevitable that he would choose him. All the same...he's glad he doesn't have to.]
... I would understand, though, [he says after a thoughtful moment.] If that was too much.
[he's out here doing too much. but it is Yu, after all. he's always wanted to make sure he's okay, and that he's taken care of, all things considered. even through all the dumb shit they get into... it's times like these that he knows he definitely picked the right partner.]
I told you before, I'm not going to hold you back. But if he hurts you again...
[It's a uniquely uncomfortable feeling, for Yu -- feeling like someone is taking care of him. Maybe because he was just...on his own so much. Countless nights coming home to a dark, empty house, having to look after his own needs. He had seen so much of himself in Nanako, in her independence, her resilience in the face of that empty home. The idea that someone wants to help, to be there, to care...it's hard. It's still really, really hard for him to accept that.
But he's trying. He squeezes Yosuke's hand; it's a gesture that means more than he's able to say in words, some mix of gratitude and understanding. He has no doubt that Yosuke will do whatever he can. It's just-- he doesn't want things to come to that.]
It won't happen again, [he says softly after a moment, swallowing uncomfortably. It's not out of faith in Mikey, but rather faith in himself.] I won't let it.
[Not just because he grows from his own mistakes, but also because he doesn't want to need to be looked after. Not again.]
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ok cool
ill see u when you get home then
im not working 2day so
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Wasting no time, he puts his things down on the table by the entry, leaves his shoes in the genkan, and goes looking for Yosuke. The house isn't huge; it doesn't take long.]
Hey.
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Hey.
[he scans him, though.]
Are you... okay?
[he's going to ask first before he launches into the elephant in the room, here.]
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So...he needs to help, there.]
I'm fine, [said softly, honestly.] I got locked in at Lupin last night.
[But that's not really what the conversation is about. He continues,] ... Mikey was there. We talked.
[Here's where he invites Yosuke to air his concerns, because he knows he has them. Yu's expression is full of anticipation, expectation. Of course he knows it's coming.]
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Of course you did.
[he scans Yu again, almost as if looking with new eyes to make sure there's no sign of injury on him.
when he's somewhat satisfied that he wasn't hurt, he asks:]
What did he tell you?
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Yosuke is looking for signs of distress, and Yu lets him. He'll find none, save for tiredness and the wrinkles of overworn clothes.]
A lot. [It's not really a facetious remark so much as a soft opening. He's trying to figure out where to start, as he sits heavily on the sofa.]
He said it was a "curse." That he's better now. That it involved some sort of time travel... [He huffs out a soft breath.] ... given how strange this place can get, I don't disbelieve it.
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but it still hurt. the fact of the matter is that Yu was still caught in the crossfire and killed. not that he should be so surprised he poked his nose into it all again, but...]
You said you don't disbelieve it. But how do you feel about it?
[he reaches out to try to grab one of Yu's hands... to take it, gently. hopefully lace their fingers together. because even though he has his own emotions about the whole thing, he's more worried about the person sitting next to him right now.]
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Still. It takes him a minute to find an answer to the question.]
Angry. Sad. Just because he's better...it doesn't make everything that happened go away.
[And yet, they had both said so much, too. There's been so much, and the feelings are all so tangled and tied up. None of it is simple at all.]
But I don't want to feel that way forever. I don't want any of us to.
[Him, Yosuke, Mikey. Other friends like Scott and Kotone. None of them deserve to be trapped in this forever.]
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[Yosuke's not sure if he can forgive him yet, though. even though death isn't permanent here, Mikey still killed Yu. his person.
it was the principle of everything. that Mikey was supposed to help protect him when everything got tough.]
I think you'll get past it eventually. You're strong like that. [he's not going to comment on him.] You guys are bonded.
[even though he thinks Mikey's weird as fuck lmfao, even before all this.]
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Then,] ...What about you?
[It's a question that's bigger than it sounds. Yosuke is a person of strong opinions, especially when it comes to people he cares about. No matter how he feels about Mikey, he probably has something to say about the fact that they're back in contact. Yu wedges open that door, allowing him the space to step through it. To say whatever's on his mind.]
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I can't. I can't... forgive him, not yet.
[Yu was his everything, does anyone not understand? sure, he liked other people too... but it always came back to one person.
and there's a bit of a fear there too, maybe. that he wasn't there to protect him -- would that happen again? not even if it was just Mikey, but anyone? would he be able to protect him the next time someone came at him?
it was a strange rabbit trail of thoughts, but he had them anyway. a paranoia, almost.]
I know it's supposedly not permanent but... [he grips his hand tighter, it could be almost painful.] I can't forgive him yet.
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It's alright if you don't. [Quiet as he can be, he's open and sincere when he does talk -- and this is no exception. Yosuke is under no obligation to forgive anything, and if he never did, Yu would understand that.]
If I started talking to him again...would you be okay?
[Talking regularly, of course, beyond the few interactions he and Mikey have had. Beyond stilted messages and conversations at the door. It's not a request for permission; Yu knows he doesn't need it. But they're partners, first and foremost, and what one of them does can affect the other. Yosuke's vicelike grip on his hand is a clear indicator that everything is very far from fine. He just wants to know where things stand.]
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he's not actually all that surprised. it's Yu after all, and he's probably the best person he's ever met. would he be okay? no.
but he leans his head on Yu's shoulder anyway, his grip softening on the other's hand so it's not quite crushing.]
I'll be okay. [he might not be able to forgive Mikey yet, but:] It wouldn't be fair if I made your life hell because you want to fix things.
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Yosuke Hanamura, his partner, his person. If he had to choose, it feels almost inevitable that he would choose him. All the same...he's glad he doesn't have to.]
... I would understand, though, [he says after a thoughtful moment.] If that was too much.
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I told you before, I'm not going to hold you back. But if he hurts you again...
[the grip on his hand intensifies again.]
I will kill him.
[we went from 0 to 60 here, huh!!]
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But he's trying. He squeezes Yosuke's hand; it's a gesture that means more than he's able to say in words, some mix of gratitude and understanding. He has no doubt that Yosuke will do whatever he can. It's just-- he doesn't want things to come to that.]
It won't happen again, [he says softly after a moment, swallowing uncomfortably. It's not out of faith in Mikey, but rather faith in himself.] I won't let it.
[Not just because he grows from his own mistakes, but also because he doesn't want to need to be looked after. Not again.]