[ please he has no one else to ask and he's going insane. ]
well that's bloody unhelpful
sorry! i mean... look, here's the thing. i think i'm pretty good at figuring out what other people are feeling, you know, comes with the whole detective thing? i get how they feel and what they need and all that. but i've tried to look at what i'm feeling and i have no bloody clue
[ why is this his afterlife now. why is it full of him having to talk to people about his feelings?? where did he go wrong — ]
it's not...
bloody hell. fine, i owe it to you for answering in the first place, don't i?
look, it's... my parents, they weren't — you know, not a good example of, well, anything. and that's all i've got to go on, yeah? i know i'm pretty aces at being a friend. but what the hell do i [ a pause, as if he has to actually really struggle to get the rest out ]
what do i know of love? bloody nothing. and it doesn't matter anyway, if he's smart he won't even...
but even if he did it doesn't matter. i'm not gonna risk ever being like my dad. i won't ever hurt him, so i'll just [ never say anything, that's the plan, and it's a great plan that he's absolutely not talking about. ]
[Oh. Wow. Yu sort of wishes he knew Charles better, at the moment -- maybe he'd be able to give better advice, if that was the case. As it stands, all he can do is talk about his own experiences.
That part is tough -- for him, at least.]
Whatever your parents were like, you don't have to be anything like them. Not remotely. You have your own feelings to go on, too. And your friends.
[A beat.]
I think...love isn't something you know. It's something you feel. And I'm not sure anyone knows what they're doing when it comes to that. No one I know does, at least.
And...if your friend is as good as you say he is, then it does matter. It'll matter to him. Trust me.
[ meanwhile, this was exactly charles' reasoning in asking yu, out of everyone — because they don't know each other that well, yet. because it's easier to talk about this to someone who doesn't really know him. ]
"don't have to", is it? but what if i'm just... what if it's not a choice? what if that's just who i am? what if all i can do is fuck up the important stuff? he deserves better than that.
you said you're biased, yeah? how'd... it go for you?
If it's something you're thinking about and worrying about, I think you're already doing something different from what you know.
It
[oh my god charles stop making him talk about himself help]
It was hard. I didn't want my feelings to change anything, so...I decided not to tell him how I felt. Everything ended up coming out anyway. It-- would have been easier if I'd just said something to begin with. I'm glad it did, though.
[ hmmm well that doesn't sound at all like what he's planning on doing! but joke's on you, yu, maybe it didn't work for you but it will definitely work for him — ]
... right. hey, chuffed for you that it worked out fine for you. this friend, he here, then?
We were friends back home. Got here at the same time and everything. Same question for you: this person on your mind, is it someone you know from here or home?
like that, is it? well, for what it's worth, i hope you figure it out soon
oh. that's aces, then
and he's from here. well, i dunno for sure, actually, we talked about it, our worlds are pretty similar so there's a chance it's not just similar but the same, but... pretty slim, innit?
and even if it is, what're the chances of remembering anything after this
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
after obon; un: deadboydetective
but i can't talk to richard because he's richard and i like scott but this isn't something i can ask him either and then i obviously can't-
i mean, do you wanna help me with something?
no subject
Yeah. I can talk. Would you rather do text or in person?
no subject
but right, humour me okay?
so. is it normal to wanna kiss your friend
[ yes that's it THAT'S THE QUESTION ]
no subject
[... a beat. woah. okay. this is a little unexpected]
Depends on the friend.
I wouldn't say it's NOT normal.
But I'm a bit biased.
no subject
well that's bloody unhelpful
sorry! i mean... look, here's the thing. i think i'm pretty good at figuring out what other people are feeling, you know, comes with the whole detective thing? i get how they feel and what they need and all that. but i've tried to look at what i'm feeling and i have no bloody clue
no subject
Clearly you're thinking about kissing them already, if you're asking.
What brings this on now?
no subject
and i need to know that it's like, normal. just the proximity, innit?
[ does he sound a tad bit desperate? surely not ]
no subject
It's okay if you like your friend that way, you know.
1/3 what is this multiple reaction tag nostalgia--
no
no, it really isn't
2/3
i didn't mean it like that
he's one of the best people i've ever met, he's been through so much shit and still he cares so bloody much
it's got nothing to do with him, why i can't-
3/3
until, finally, ]
fuck.
no subject
If it's not him, then what does it have to do with?
no subject
oh, uh, nothing
well not nothing obviously i wouldn't be having this conversation otherwise, would i
but it's my shit and i'm not gonna inflict that on you out of nowhere
no subject
no subject
it's not...
bloody hell. fine, i owe it to you for answering in the first place, don't i?
look, it's... my parents, they weren't — you know, not a good example of, well, anything. and that's all i've got to go on, yeah? i know i'm pretty aces at being a friend. but what the hell do i [ a pause, as if he has to actually really struggle to get the rest out ]
what do i know of love? bloody nothing. and it doesn't matter anyway, if he's smart he won't even...
but even if he did it doesn't matter. i'm not gonna risk ever being like my dad. i won't ever hurt him, so i'll just [ never say anything, that's the plan, and it's a great plan that he's absolutely not talking about. ]
it doesn't matter, okay?
no subject
That part is tough -- for him, at least.]
Whatever your parents were like, you don't have to be anything like them. Not remotely. You have your own feelings to go on, too. And your friends.
[A beat.]
I think...love isn't something you know. It's something you feel. And I'm not sure anyone knows what they're doing when it comes to that. No one I know does, at least.
And...if your friend is as good as you say he is, then it does matter. It'll matter to him. Trust me.
[It did to him, at least.]
no subject
"don't have to", is it? but what if i'm just... what if it's not a choice? what if that's just who i am? what if all i can do is fuck up the important stuff? he deserves better than that.
you said you're biased, yeah? how'd... it go for you?
no subject
It
[oh my god charles stop making him talk about himself help]
It was hard. I didn't want my feelings to change anything, so...I decided not to tell him how I felt.
Everything ended up coming out anyway. It-- would have been easier if I'd just said something to begin with.
I'm glad it did, though.
no subject
... right. hey, chuffed for you that it worked out fine for you. this friend, he here, then?
no subject
Charles.
Either tell him or kiss him, but don't just do nothing.
no subject
i'll
i'll think about it, yeah?
no subject
[As if Charles is doing him a favor, here??? Okay. Anyway, after a beat,]
... He is here, yeah. My friend.
[Friend. Partner. "Person???" They...haven't quite worked out the word for it. Because they're idiots.]
no subject
[ yeah, he's kind of getting that feeling... not that he really has any room to judge, here. ]
so you knew him before coming here, then? or did you meet here?
no subject
[it's complicated okay!!!]
We were friends back home. Got here at the same time and everything. Same question for you: this person on your mind, is it someone you know from here or home?
no subject
oh. that's aces, then
and he's from here. well, i dunno for sure, actually, we talked about it, our worlds are pretty similar so there's a chance it's not just similar but the same, but... pretty slim, innit?
and even if it is, what're the chances of remembering anything after this
at least you've got a chance back home, too.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
🎀