[ meanwhile, this was exactly charles' reasoning in asking yu, out of everyone — because they don't know each other that well, yet. because it's easier to talk about this to someone who doesn't really know him. ]
"don't have to", is it? but what if i'm just... what if it's not a choice? what if that's just who i am? what if all i can do is fuck up the important stuff? he deserves better than that.
you said you're biased, yeah? how'd... it go for you?
If it's something you're thinking about and worrying about, I think you're already doing something different from what you know.
It
[oh my god charles stop making him talk about himself help]
It was hard. I didn't want my feelings to change anything, so...I decided not to tell him how I felt. Everything ended up coming out anyway. It-- would have been easier if I'd just said something to begin with. I'm glad it did, though.
[ hmmm well that doesn't sound at all like what he's planning on doing! but joke's on you, yu, maybe it didn't work for you but it will definitely work for him — ]
... right. hey, chuffed for you that it worked out fine for you. this friend, he here, then?
We were friends back home. Got here at the same time and everything. Same question for you: this person on your mind, is it someone you know from here or home?
like that, is it? well, for what it's worth, i hope you figure it out soon
oh. that's aces, then
and he's from here. well, i dunno for sure, actually, we talked about it, our worlds are pretty similar so there's a chance it's not just similar but the same, but... pretty slim, innit?
and even if it is, what're the chances of remembering anything after this
[a beat. so it's a situation like that, huh... he can't say he doesn't sympathize; even though he and Mikey technically come from the same place, there's a time difference and a culture difference. not the same as him and yosuke at all.]
I understand.
[... but--]
You know. My family moves around a lot, so I don't spend much time in one place. Maybe a few months at most, usually. For a long time, I didn't think it was worth it to make friends, because it wouldn't last. It seemed too hard and too painful to keep saying goodbye, right?
But, in a way, I think that makes it more important to try. People stay with you, their memories stay with you, even if it doesn't last. Even if none of us remember after we leave this place, we're not the same.
that must've been hard, for you. never being able to feel like you belong somewhere, permanently. but... you're right, that's what makes it matter
anyone can be gone any moment. so that's not an excuse not to care
but that's the thing, innit? nothing wrong with being friends. i'd rather just be there for him like this, you know? if being his friend is all i ever am i'll still count myself real fucking lucky
Oh, that sort of hits in a very viscerally real way, doesn't it? Yu has moved past a lot of his aversions to commitment, but -- he never really thought about what might happen if some of those people leave. Mikey, Yosuke, even Scott or Kotone...would he be prepared to make the same declaration if any of them left? Would it still feel worth it?
...
That's something he's going to have to unpack. Later.]
That's fair, too. There's nothing wrong with being friends.
It doesn't feel good to shove aside your own feelings. But it probably doesn't feel good to force it, either. Whatever you decide -- as long as it feels right, to you, it'll be okay.
Whatever happens, I hope it works out for you, Charles.
[ meanwhile, charles has thought about it, in very exacting detail — mostly because, well, that's the thing with living people, isn't it? even back home, they will all die eventually, and most choose to move on. no one is permanent... here even less so.
and yet, he can't not care. every single meaningful friendship he's made... he's grateful for all of them. and as for junpei, well —
he knows there's no version of this where he'd ever regret having met him. ]
... thanks. for listening to me. you're a good friend, yu.
[A good friend. It doesn't take an expert to figure that out. Charles is the one going on about this friend of his -- in a way, it really is reminiscent of Yosuke. His loyalty to the people he cares about, his consideration for them hidden beneath a layer of goofiness. Maybe that's part of why he's so invested.]
[ he doesn't feel like one, really — this was him, dumping his own problems on yu, and he's only grateful yu took it all as well as he did. but... it's nice to hear, anyways. ]
thanks. not sure i believe that, but. thank you, seriously.
and remember that if you ever got anything you wanna get off your chest... well. know where to find me, don't you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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"don't have to", is it? but what if i'm just... what if it's not a choice? what if that's just who i am? what if all i can do is fuck up the important stuff? he deserves better than that.
you said you're biased, yeah? how'd... it go for you?
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It
[oh my god charles stop making him talk about himself help]
It was hard. I didn't want my feelings to change anything, so...I decided not to tell him how I felt.
Everything ended up coming out anyway. It-- would have been easier if I'd just said something to begin with.
I'm glad it did, though.
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... right. hey, chuffed for you that it worked out fine for you. this friend, he here, then?
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Charles.
Either tell him or kiss him, but don't just do nothing.
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i'll
i'll think about it, yeah?
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[As if Charles is doing him a favor, here??? Okay. Anyway, after a beat,]
... He is here, yeah. My friend.
[Friend. Partner. "Person???" They...haven't quite worked out the word for it. Because they're idiots.]
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[ yeah, he's kind of getting that feeling... not that he really has any room to judge, here. ]
so you knew him before coming here, then? or did you meet here?
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[it's complicated okay!!!]
We were friends back home. Got here at the same time and everything. Same question for you: this person on your mind, is it someone you know from here or home?
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oh. that's aces, then
and he's from here. well, i dunno for sure, actually, we talked about it, our worlds are pretty similar so there's a chance it's not just similar but the same, but... pretty slim, innit?
and even if it is, what're the chances of remembering anything after this
at least you've got a chance back home, too.
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[a beat. so it's a situation like that, huh... he can't say he doesn't sympathize; even though he and Mikey technically come from the same place, there's a time difference and a culture difference. not the same as him and yosuke at all.]
I understand.
[... but--]
You know. My family moves around a lot, so I don't spend much time in one place. Maybe a few months at most, usually. For a long time, I didn't think it was worth it to make friends, because it wouldn't last. It seemed too hard and too painful to keep saying goodbye, right?
But, in a way, I think that makes it more important to try. People stay with you, their memories stay with you, even if it doesn't last. Even if none of us remember after we leave this place, we're not the same.
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yeah, that's
that must've been hard, for you. never being able to feel like you belong somewhere, permanently. but... you're right, that's what makes it matter
anyone can be gone any moment. so that's not an excuse not to care
but that's the thing, innit? nothing wrong with being friends. i'd rather just be there for him like this, you know? if being his friend is all i ever am i'll still count myself real fucking lucky
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Oh, that sort of hits in a very viscerally real way, doesn't it? Yu has moved past a lot of his aversions to commitment, but -- he never really thought about what might happen if some of those people leave. Mikey, Yosuke, even Scott or Kotone...would he be prepared to make the same declaration if any of them left? Would it still feel worth it?
...
That's something he's going to have to unpack. Later.]
That's fair, too. There's nothing wrong with being friends.
It doesn't feel good to shove aside your own feelings. But it probably doesn't feel good to force it, either. Whatever you decide -- as long as it feels right, to you, it'll be okay.
Whatever happens, I hope it works out for you, Charles.
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and yet, he can't not care. every single meaningful friendship he's made... he's grateful for all of them. and as for junpei, well —
he knows there's no version of this where he'd ever regret having met him. ]
... thanks. for listening to me. you're a good friend, yu.
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[A good friend. It doesn't take an expert to figure that out. Charles is the one going on about this friend of his -- in a way, it really is reminiscent of Yosuke. His loyalty to the people he cares about, his consideration for them hidden beneath a layer of goofiness. Maybe that's part of why he's so invested.]
Good luck, alright? You've got this.
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thanks. not sure i believe that, but. thank you, seriously.
and remember that if you ever got anything you wanna get off your chest... well. know where to find me, don't you?
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[jfc he and Yosuke really are alike, what the hell.]
Or if I have a ghostly mystery to solve, right?
Thanks, Charles. I'll remember that.
🎀
[ as if he would, let him be self-deprecating in peace, thank you — ]
or just, you know, for any reason.
right, i'm gonna
talk to you later, yeah?