[Damn it, Summers. He's trapped, now that Scott has turned it around like that. He can't possibly say no. He can't retreat in on himself if it's someone else who needs a friend.]
[Scott will already be waiting in front of the diner, his motorcycle parked not too far away. Normally, he would take the chance to show it off to his friend, but he's not really in the mood. Not to mention... Mikey was known to drive his around a lot and--
He sucks in a breath, trying to push those unsettled feelings down. You'd think that after living here for almost two years, he'd be more used to stuff like this. Friends disappearing, most never returning. There's a chance that might still happen with Mikey, but he also just came from a rough dream sequence where he had to confront that things don't last, even though he wants all of his friends to be happy. Happy, safe, living a normal life with him. It was nice.
But fake. Not to mention that there were a couple of dreams he entered that were just awful. Mikey's dream being one of them and he wanted to talk to him more, except he can't.
He wasn't really lying when he said that he just needed to hang out with a friend that's still here. He's just doing this for Yu as well because there's no chance he's doing okay either. So, Scott's standing, waiting, hands in his pockets and maybe just looking a little more solemn than usual.]
[The timing is different. It's one of the little things Yu forgets sometimes -- it takes longer to get there from the inn than it did from either the dojo or his little shared house with Yosuke, and he...forgot to take that into account. So he's a minute or two late, which is way later than he ever is when his head is on straight.
Right now, it's not.
The motorcycle is another hitch, another pause, another unexpected pang of a memory that he's not really ready to deal with. His footsteps pause for a moment, his attention lingering there as he exhales.
He doesn't like this. Any of it. The dreams...they remind him of how he used to be; the reservation in his actions, his unwillingness to really be with people. The wall he built up. But there was a part of him that didn't want to leave, didn't want to remember who he really was; didn't want to divorce reality from the strange kindness of forgetting. What does that say about him? That, for a few moments, he was willing to forget Mikey, forget Yosuke, just to keep from feeling this way? And here he is, even now trying to push people back, trying to put his heart back into a locked safe, trying to shove down all the little reminders that underneath it all, he's still a person who feels.
(And he wonders, at the moment, whether it's better to feel...or to push everything away and pretend he doesn't.)
For now, he tries to pull himself together.] Sorry I'm late. I hope you weren't waiting long.
[It's quite possibly the most generically polite way to greet someone when you're meeting like this. He leans on that politeness like a crutch, like a lifeline, as he debates the merits of retreat.]
[Honestly, he gets a little worried when Yu doesn't show up exactly on time. He knows how punctual the other teen is and Scott can't help but wonder if something really dragged him down, whether it be emotions or something else. A part of him wants to send another message to Yu, but he should probably wait at least a little longer than a minute of his friend not being here. He'll give him 10 minutes?? Or maybe just 5--
But luckily, he doesn't have to send any sort of message.
Something relieved churns in his chest as Yu appears in his sight, looking... tired? It's subtle, probably something that many wouldn't catch, but he's known Yu for a long time now. He's also dating someone that is an expert at hiding her feelings, so he knows. Also, there's no way anyone can be okay after losing two extremely important people to them.]
Nah, just got here myself.
[Kind of lying, but also, waiting for a couple of minutes is really not that long. Scott's still far more focused on Yu, noting the distant politeness, a reminder of how his friend was in his dream. He really didn't realize it until now, but Yu's also changed a lot huh? Or maybe he never saw him when he was like that. Yu's always been... calm, but kind, compassionate in a way that made it easy to befriend him.]
...Hey. [If Yu doesn't immediately object, Scott will take a couple of steps closer, before wrapping him in a tight hug.]
[Yu is silent and still for a moment as Scott puts his arms around him. His posture is tense, arms at his sides, frozen.
Should I? The question rattles around in his mind, echoing like some kind of sad refrain. A what if. What if someone else leaves? What if missing people is too hard? It had been ages since he had to go home to an empty house, and even though he knew it was inevitable --his life in Tokyo had been getting closer by the minute, before he got here-- it never felt this hard, before.
What if it's better, knowing to expect the empty house...?
Even as Yu thinks it, he knows he can't go back to it. He's changed, and sometimes that's for the better. By that same token, sometimes it's going to hurt. Pushing people away after the fact won't make it hurt any less; it'll just mean he has to deal with that pain alone.
His frozen posture melts all at once; his chin ducks down onto Scott's shoulders, reciprocating the hug almost desperately, squeezing his eyes shut.]
[Scott can tell that Yu's tense underneath his hug.
It's hard, because he knows that Yu is usually the type to return hugs rather quickly. He's really been going through it, huh? But maybe it's not surprising at all that Yu is like this, even if he didn't lose both of the people closest to him, because Scott knows what he was like in their shared dream. A sort of distant and kind of awkward teen, like he didn't want to get close to anyone. A dream is only a dream, of course, but maybe there was some truth to all that.
Like before he made a bunch of friends, he was a loner. Scott can honestly understand that. He kept to himself for most of his life until he arrived at Xavier's Institute and finally found a place that he could fit in.
As long as Yu doesn't struggle, he keeps his arms wrapped around the other in a tight embrace. He really isn't a big hugger, but well, maybe the both of them needs this and he's willing to take the first step this time. It's not the first time that he reached out to others that looked like they needed it and then make a big deal that he's just doing this for himself.
But then Yu hugs him back, chin against his shoulder, and any doubt's gone.]
...Crappy day, isn't it? [He mumbles quietly, but still holding onto Yu.]
[The feeling is heavy, a strange mix of hurt, sadness, maybe anger. Because he's still here. Why is he still here? What is any of this even for? And maybe he's angry at himself, too, for taking it so hard. He's better than this; it's almost embarrassing, how pitiful he feels.
Still. He feels a sting at the corner of his eyes, feels that pain threatening to well up and burst out.
For now, Yu keeps a lid on it, if only just. He's not ready to admit just how deep the hurt runs, and he's not ready to show weakness in the face of it. Not yet. Not when he still has to show his face, when the world has to keep turning --figuratively-- and life has to keep going. That said, he's not about to let go. In some way that he can't really explain or admit to, he needs that hug like a lifeline -- no matter how else he's feeling.]
Mm. It hasn't been a great month.
[Long enough to tell that they're not coming back. Long enough to feel like forever. Short enough that it's still raw in his mind. He exhales, the sound a faint hiccup against Scott's shoulder as he tries to pull himself together.] Sorry. I-- ...thank you for meeting me here.
[He had hope that Yosuke would suddenly come back without warning, or Mikey returning just like last time with a new haircut and timeline shenanigans. But each day chipped at that feeling until he could do nothing but face the painful reality that they most likely aren't coming back. He can at least tell himself that Yosuke is okay back home and that Mikey is leading a good future now. Right? Like they have a whole future ahead of them and it helps Scott in a lot of ways.
Because he still can't help but think about the fates of some of his other friends here. That being in Aldrip is basically the end for them.
But he buries those thoughts within him, just tightening his hold as he hears the small noise pulling from Yu. Focus on his friend. It's what he wants to do more than anything. The fact that his friends-- Yu's partners are gone doesn't hurt any less.]
Hey, it's cool. [...] I said I wanted a milkshake and fries, right? And it's better shared with someone else. Sometimes, at least. [He adds on, forcing the joke despite everything.] I even heard of a technique of dipping them into a shake. I wanted to try that.
[God, he feels weak. Small. He can tell himself he's had worse, but the pain doesn't contrast, it compounds. Adding upon old scars, bringing back old feelings. He never again wanted to feel as helpless as he did when Nanako was kidnapped. And yet, here he is, face pressed into another friend's shoulder as if his very life depends on it.
People can't be alone. In some sense, Yu knows this. But feeling it so keenly still tightens the knot in his chest. What would happen if Scott disappeared, or Kotone, or Charles, or Aether? Any of the people he cares about? He had felt safe, with Yosuke. With Mikey. He made the mistake of feeling like things could go on forever. Now he faces the consequences of those mistakes, and it's worse than he could have imagined. No wonder he pushed it all away for so long; part of him wishes he could push it away now.
But he can't. And here, now, he's not alone. It feels bad, relying on someone else like this, but he...he doesn't know what else he could do.
The way Scott talks sounds so...normal. He tries to keep that tone in his mind, tries to at least act like everything hasn't been pulled from underneath him. Like he hasn't become unmoored.] Salty and sweet. Makes sense. I think I'd like to try that too.
[Everything is not normal. Everything is not okay. But-- maybe he can pretend like it is, just for now.]
[Scott's more than willing to keep like this as long as Yu needs it, letting his friend decide how long he wants this before pulling away. It's not like giving hugs to his friends is a grand gesture or something difficult for the mutant. It really hasn't been that way for him for months, not after understanding the loss and the pain that not only they've endured, but he as well.
Sometimes it's weird to think that he's been here longer than most of the Chosen, but guess that gives him a unique perspective sometimes. Or at least, he certainly feels like a better person now than when he first arrived-- which. He's not giving any credit to Jerry or anything. Screw them still.]
Right? Best of both worlds, combining them in one. Didn't know why I didn't think of that earlier. [He adds softly, with some amusement that's not wholly forced. For a moment, it looks like Scott was just going to leave it at that, but there's a small exhale, somewhat breathy and.]
...We're here. Me, Kotone, everyone else. It sucks, it hurts, but you aren't alone.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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what if i just want to grab a burger and a milkshake with someone that's still here because the dream shit was rough?
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It was a lot. Yeah.
I can meet you there.
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meet in twenty? or do you need more time?
[Because he'll be so mad if he gets stood up, Narukami!!]
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[No matter WHAT mood he's in, he wouldn't stand up a friend!!!]
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He sucks in a breath, trying to push those unsettled feelings down. You'd think that after living here for almost two years, he'd be more used to stuff like this. Friends disappearing, most never returning. There's a chance that might still happen with Mikey, but he also just came from a rough dream sequence where he had to confront that things don't last, even though he wants all of his friends to be happy. Happy, safe, living a normal life with him. It was nice.
But fake. Not to mention that there were a couple of dreams he entered that were just awful. Mikey's dream being one of them and he wanted to talk to him more, except he can't.
He wasn't really lying when he said that he just needed to hang out with a friend that's still here. He's just doing this for Yu as well because there's no chance he's doing okay either. So, Scott's standing, waiting, hands in his pockets and maybe just looking a little more solemn than usual.]
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Right now, it's not.
The motorcycle is another hitch, another pause, another unexpected pang of a memory that he's not really ready to deal with. His footsteps pause for a moment, his attention lingering there as he exhales.
He doesn't like this. Any of it. The dreams...they remind him of how he used to be; the reservation in his actions, his unwillingness to really be with people. The wall he built up. But there was a part of him that didn't want to leave, didn't want to remember who he really was; didn't want to divorce reality from the strange kindness of forgetting. What does that say about him? That, for a few moments, he was willing to forget Mikey, forget Yosuke, just to keep from feeling this way? And here he is, even now trying to push people back, trying to put his heart back into a locked safe, trying to shove down all the little reminders that underneath it all, he's still a person who feels.
(And he wonders, at the moment, whether it's better to feel...or to push everything away and pretend he doesn't.)
For now, he tries to pull himself together.] Sorry I'm late. I hope you weren't waiting long.
[It's quite possibly the most generically polite way to greet someone when you're meeting like this. He leans on that politeness like a crutch, like a lifeline, as he debates the merits of retreat.]
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But luckily, he doesn't have to send any sort of message.
Something relieved churns in his chest as Yu appears in his sight, looking... tired? It's subtle, probably something that many wouldn't catch, but he's known Yu for a long time now. He's also dating someone that is an expert at hiding her feelings, so he knows. Also, there's no way anyone can be okay after losing two extremely important people to them.]
Nah, just got here myself.
[Kind of lying, but also, waiting for a couple of minutes is really not that long. Scott's still far more focused on Yu, noting the distant politeness, a reminder of how his friend was in his dream. He really didn't realize it until now, but Yu's also changed a lot huh? Or maybe he never saw him when he was like that. Yu's always been... calm, but kind, compassionate in a way that made it easy to befriend him.]
...Hey. [If Yu doesn't immediately object, Scott will take a couple of steps closer, before wrapping him in a tight hug.]
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Should I? The question rattles around in his mind, echoing like some kind of sad refrain. A what if. What if someone else leaves? What if missing people is too hard? It had been ages since he had to go home to an empty house, and even though he knew it was inevitable --his life in Tokyo had been getting closer by the minute, before he got here-- it never felt this hard, before.
What if it's better, knowing to expect the empty house...?
Even as Yu thinks it, he knows he can't go back to it. He's changed, and sometimes that's for the better. By that same token, sometimes it's going to hurt. Pushing people away after the fact won't make it hurt any less; it'll just mean he has to deal with that pain alone.
His frozen posture melts all at once; his chin ducks down onto Scott's shoulders, reciprocating the hug almost desperately, squeezing his eyes shut.]
Hey.
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It's hard, because he knows that Yu is usually the type to return hugs rather quickly. He's really been going through it, huh? But maybe it's not surprising at all that Yu is like this, even if he didn't lose both of the people closest to him, because Scott knows what he was like in their shared dream. A sort of distant and kind of awkward teen, like he didn't want to get close to anyone. A dream is only a dream, of course, but maybe there was some truth to all that.
Like before he made a bunch of friends, he was a loner. Scott can honestly understand that. He kept to himself for most of his life until he arrived at Xavier's Institute and finally found a place that he could fit in.
As long as Yu doesn't struggle, he keeps his arms wrapped around the other in a tight embrace. He really isn't a big hugger, but well, maybe the both of them needs this and he's willing to take the first step this time. It's not the first time that he reached out to others that looked like they needed it and then make a big deal that he's just doing this for himself.
But then Yu hugs him back, chin against his shoulder, and any doubt's gone.]
...Crappy day, isn't it? [He mumbles quietly, but still holding onto Yu.]
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Still. He feels a sting at the corner of his eyes, feels that pain threatening to well up and burst out.
For now, Yu keeps a lid on it, if only just. He's not ready to admit just how deep the hurt runs, and he's not ready to show weakness in the face of it. Not yet. Not when he still has to show his face, when the world has to keep turning --figuratively-- and life has to keep going. That said, he's not about to let go. In some way that he can't really explain or admit to, he needs that hug like a lifeline -- no matter how else he's feeling.]
Mm. It hasn't been a great month.
[Long enough to tell that they're not coming back. Long enough to feel like forever. Short enough that it's still raw in his mind. He exhales, the sound a faint hiccup against Scott's shoulder as he tries to pull himself together.] Sorry. I-- ...thank you for meeting me here.
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Because he still can't help but think about the fates of some of his other friends here. That being in Aldrip is basically the end for them.
But he buries those thoughts within him, just tightening his hold as he hears the small noise pulling from Yu. Focus on his friend. It's what he wants to do more than anything. The fact that his friends-- Yu's partners are gone doesn't hurt any less.]
Hey, it's cool. [...] I said I wanted a milkshake and fries, right? And it's better shared with someone else. Sometimes, at least. [He adds on, forcing the joke despite everything.] I even heard of a technique of dipping them into a shake. I wanted to try that.
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People can't be alone. In some sense, Yu knows this. But feeling it so keenly still tightens the knot in his chest. What would happen if Scott disappeared, or Kotone, or Charles, or Aether? Any of the people he cares about? He had felt safe, with Yosuke. With Mikey. He made the mistake of feeling like things could go on forever. Now he faces the consequences of those mistakes, and it's worse than he could have imagined. No wonder he pushed it all away for so long; part of him wishes he could push it away now.
But he can't. And here, now, he's not alone. It feels bad, relying on someone else like this, but he...he doesn't know what else he could do.
The way Scott talks sounds so...normal. He tries to keep that tone in his mind, tries to at least act like everything hasn't been pulled from underneath him. Like he hasn't become unmoored.] Salty and sweet. Makes sense. I think I'd like to try that too.
[Everything is not normal. Everything is not okay. But-- maybe he can pretend like it is, just for now.]
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Sometimes it's weird to think that he's been here longer than most of the Chosen, but guess that gives him a unique perspective sometimes. Or at least, he certainly feels like a better person now than when he first arrived-- which. He's not giving any credit to Jerry or anything. Screw them still.]
Right? Best of both worlds, combining them in one. Didn't know why I didn't think of that earlier. [He adds softly, with some amusement that's not wholly forced. For a moment, it looks like Scott was just going to leave it at that, but there's a small exhale, somewhat breathy and.]
...We're here. Me, Kotone, everyone else. It sucks, it hurts, but you aren't alone.